One of those side effects of a road trauma accident. The need for constant pain relief. What I didn’t see coming was the addiction. It’s very, very real.
After four years I realised I was yes, still in pain, but no, I don’t need Oxy.
So I started to try and stop taking it. That lasted 48hrs before withdrawals kicked in and man, I have never felt worse in my life! Emotionally bankrupt, physically shaken to bits, psychologically a borderline sociopath with psychotic tendencies.
I recognised it and took matters into my own hands and went back to my treating physician. It was like he was waiting for me to make the hard decision. He knows me well after 20 years of treatment. So we made a plan, a plan I didn’t want to like because I just wanted it to stop but he carefully explained to me that I was in fact, basically an Oxy junky.
It wasn’t going to be easy but over the last 6 months we did it. I started out on 20MG in a slow release tablet form called Targin. I did that for a month and I didn’t feel anything. I mean NOTHING. I could swallow four of those fuckers at once and not FEEL a thing. Not even really pain relief anymore, it just shut up the monster in my body/head screaming for more more more.
He then sent me away with a 10MG Targin script and said one a day for a month and come back to see me.
That was probably the hardest one on reflection, as the kick wasn’t as strong anymore and I still couldn’t really say I got much pain relief from it, just more monster quietness perhaps.
Then a month later it was down to a 5MG Targin a day and I slowly but surely could see through the fog and haze of a day until about 3 or 4pm when it is routine dog-walking time. Then I would remember, oh shit! I haven’t taken a Targin today! Better have one.
No rhyme or reason, just fucking take one.
That measure lasted two months and then we titrated down to a 2.5MG Targin. It was now like taking a Panadol. Less than a Panadol but the Monster was getting quieter and quieter. It took two months on that dose before NYE 2024 I said to myself that’s it no more. I was at work in the vans, AFO on for support and I just gobbled the last three or four tablets I had left and said I am done.
Amen. I made it. Probably not as half as bad as the initial trauma but I can see why there are so many people addicted to the shit. It wrecks your mind! And I knew, I just knew, I would NEVER be ready to ride a bike again if I was still taking that shit. No one would stop me, it’s perfectly legal but in my heart of hearts I knew with that monster eating away at my consciousness I couldn’t say the right things to myself at the right time while being in control of a 1200CC V twin strapped under my nether regions.
So here we are, it’s 2025 early Feb and I am DRUG FREE.
And even more so, I am READY. Ready to get back on two wheels and really fix that motherfuck head monster in the arse and feel the wind burn my eyes once again.
Soon. Soon I will tell you how this really ends. Are you ready? Can you guess?
Stay tuned motherfuckers.
Bad ass Dan is back baby.
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